Saturday, February 20, 2010

The Jesus Shoes Song

The Jesus Shoes Song

Y'all remember when the Christmas song Jesus Shoes came out? (At least that's what I call it.) Grown men would burst into tears at the Sears check-out line as they heard, "Sir, I wanna buy these shoes for my momma please. It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size."

I too drank the crazy kool-aid and believed this was a cute little song about a poor boy and his dying mother. I cried my share of random tears in embarrassing waiting rooms as the song played in the background.

Now. It just gets on my nerves! No. For realz. Think about it. Here's some kid trying to buy his mom some shoes?! Seriously? How about buying her some medicine or something! How are shoes gonna help her? She's dying!!!

Pearly gates?! This song makes heaven sound more like a velvet rope! I picture Jesus standing at the gate velvet rope of heaven wearing an earpiece and sunglasses holding a clipboard in his hand. Then Big Momma finally gets to the front of the line. Jesus gives her the up-down and puts his index finger in the air and says, "Girl, who do you think you are? Coming up in my heaven with those raggedy shoes? Back of the line, honey. NEXT!"

Just as I felt the figgy pudding crawling its way up the back of my throat, that's when I stumbled upon the above video of the song (which I think is the actual music video by the group New Song). It has NOTHING to do with the song! It has random shots of Rob Lowe. Yes! THAT Rob Lowe. The only coherent part is there's a little boy whose mom is dying. Huuuhhhhh?

Then I found another video that some random person made and it ripped my guts out. It is waaaay more tear-jerkier (I think that's a word) than the original. After watching it, I wanted to reach into the screen and give that kid some more money. (Only thing is he picks out the ugliest shoes ever. I mean EVER...) Click HERE to watch it.

God bless us. Every one.

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